Today

Owie had a giant doughnut with Orange frosting for lunch.

It just feels good to do that sometimes.

a little unsure

Change is in the air around here. It's almost tangible. I'm beginning to feel a little anxiety with the realization that the arrival of a baby is not far away. I think Owen is too. There have been more tantrums than normal, he's not being the fabulous sleeper that he's always been, he's asked for his binki a few times (that he only has at night) randomly and during the day...that hasn't happened for months, and he's started to stutter. I'm sure a few, if not all of these things are perfectly normal and developmental, but I can't help but wonder if he's sensing the change.

I have found myself a little more tearful and reflective as well. Not sad, just reflective. Why do I do this? The feelings are all too familiar from a few weeks before Owen was born. Is it because of the hormones? or the fear of inadequacy to be a mother? or the way I innately dread change? Or maybe the way that the humility and awe, rushes through me in waves, that I am trusted to have these sweet spirits for my own. Chances are that it's a combination of all of that, but I have been so emotional. How is it that I can know that when this angel baby comes into the world, it will be a beautiful day, and will add nothing but joy to our lives, but at the same time, feel an apprehension, for the end of an era? Our little family of Three has been pure bliss. And I can't help but feel a little sad that it's ending.

I wish that I could know exactly how much Owen understands, about it all. I keep feeling guilty knowing how much his world will completely change, and not being quite sure of the best way to prepare him. There is no better gift a mother can give a child than a sibling, He'll be an amazing big brother and I can't wait to watch his gentle, nurturing personality welcome his new friend, I just fear the adjusting it might take. I have already made him grow up fast the last few months, asking him to do me favors that my growing belly won't allow. It also kind of breaks my heart that I can't play with him like I did a while ago. I just don't have the energy to wrestle and build forts, and it isn't physically possible to play tackle football these days.

This change is making me feel a little unsure, but at the same time, it can't come soon enough. I have about six weeks to buy tiny diapers, wash little onsies, enjoy the baby moving inside of me and being a mother of one. Six weeks before our life changes for good, and I have double the joy. How could it be possible?

I Believe

In date night. Is there anything more rejuvenating, satisfying and necessary than one on one time with your spouse? I crave it!

That 5 Oreos is the perfect amount. My family and I got into a debate about this. They say it's relative, and that everyone's ideal Oreo intake is different. I say it is absolutely not. I think that with most food items that argument would hold true, but if you have just eaten a meal, have a comfortably full stomach, and are experiencing an Oreo dessert craving, you can't go wrong with five. Four is too few (doesn't satisfy) and six is too many (just made yourself sick). That's right I have it down to a science. Test it out if you want, and feel free to tell me I'm right. I think I've convinced one of my siblings. 8 to go.

Everything is better in the morning. Bad days just aren't quite as bad, people aren't quite as mean, and annoyances aren't quite as irritating after a good night's sleep. In fact you know how it's often advised to couples to never go to bed angry? Sometimes it works best for Treav and I to just fall asleep and talk about it in the morning. We're happier, and sometimes even over it. Everything's better in the morning. When it's said in my head, it's in my mom's voice. Something I heard after lame dates, zitty school photos, mean friends, failed tests, embarrassing moments, sick days and anything else that's worth crying over. She was always right. Thank heavens for a new day.

A theory I once heard that suggests that you should show physical affection to your child every amount of hours of their age. A one year old should be hugged and kissed every hour, a three

year old every three hours, a five year old every five hours etc. Doesn't it make perfect sense? And it almost seems natural. I get the urge to kiss owies juicy cheeks, just about every couple of hours. I know I need a big hug and kiss at least every 25 hours.

If this sweet little baby living in me is a boy, he may never get a name. Any suggestions? we are so very desperate.

Also, a book review:

I didn't finish it. So clearly I wasn't in love. I got about 3/4 of the way through, and enjoyed what I read, but it didn't suck me in, and I was busy and it was due back to the library. Therefor, I'm not raving about it, but most people do... so maybe I should give it another try. I will say however, that it was eye-opening. I love stories that make me realize how blessed my own life is, and this is one of them.

An LDS novel, that was written by my very own cousin. Can you believe it?! I LOVED it! It's a quick uplifting and enlightening read. I'm so impressed and proud of Braden. Pick up your own copy at desert book :)

delighted by every single second! Thank you to everyone who recommended it. It's the type of book that is so detailed and illustrated that it almost feels like watching a movie. It was inspiring relate-able and made me think about my own beliefs. The combination of this era (the 60's) and genre (African American history) might be my very favorite.

captivated

At the Flash game

All I hoped and dreamed.

The season consisted of everything wonderful.

Lots and lots of time with family.

A trip to Temple Square.

And a fabulous and relaxing Christmas day.

Thoughts on the holiday:

• My whole family was in town. It was pure bliss.
• Treavor's parents did the 12 days of Christmas for all of their children (a lot of work!). It was so fun to open a gift each day with a reminder of the meaning of Christmas.
• I consumed more food than I really knew was possible.
• It so sweet to watch Owen learn about the birth of Christ. Driving in the car one day after a little bit of silence he said "Christmas time, Jesus born".
• After playing with a nativity set and lining up the shepherds, he likes to line things up (cheerios, little dinosaurs...) and say "looking for baby Jesus".
• Christmas eve was a blast with the Peters family (can you believe not a single picture?! too busy having fun i guess). But Clay Telisa and cute, cute boys were missed like crazy.
• Watching the Polar Express book bring as much magic into Owens nights by the lit tree as it did to my childhood. Priceless.
• Owen got a wooden marble track just like my Grandma and Grandpa Bell used to have. I like it more than he does.
• He also got some bubble bath that provides over an hour of entertainment everyday. Its perfect for a low-energy mama, high-energy toddler and the winter time.
• Singing Christmas carols with Grandma at the Piano and Grandpa on the trombone...always a highlight.
• A week with no work for Treavor. Heaven.
• Late night chats with my siblings by the fire. Not much I love more.

What more could a girl ask for?

Now for goal setting, cleaning out and getting back to real life.

Here's to 2011!!

I promise

We really aren't that crazy pet people type. But Marley's 4th birthday gave us a great reason to make cupcakes, bring out some balloons and blow out a candle on this otherwise very uneventful Monday.

Owen was glad to have something to celebrate and gave Marley lots of "happy birthday" hugs.

In dog years, he's 28. Time flies when you're a dog!!

Loving

Just a few things I am loving about the Owie boy these days:

He can usually be found wearing his aunt's hand-me-down shin guards and soccer socks.

Every night while I make dinner he is right by me in the pantry making his own meal. Complete with Cheerios in a skillet and a Christmas stocking on his hand for a hot pad. He repeatedly warns "don't chouch mom, SO hot!"

He points out letters wherever we go. On the freeway passing Costco he will say "C-O-S-T-C-O....Target!

He loves Aladdin, and watches it more than I'd like to admit. The other day I asked him if Aladdin is funny and he said very seriously "No ladin NOT funny, just Owie's favorite!"

He loves to balance an item of clothing on his foot, stick his foot in the air and say "look at this trick!"

He thinks his Napoleon Dynomite style moon boots are so super cool.

I love this age! Every day seems to bring a little more nuttiness, sweetness and personality of his very own.