me.

If you're anything like me, you've felt the curse of the pregnant hormones and the negativism they bring. Some people feel their best when they're pregnant. I, I feel grateful. However It's a gratitude I have to remind myself of. The majority of the time I simply feel fat, zitty, pale and lazy. In an effort to feel like the "normal" realistic me, here's a letter to me:

Dear self,

I love you. I'm lucky I love you. Not everyone loves their self. I do. Sometimes I just forget, and if a sweet angel baby is what these hormones bring the price is well worth it.

I love your healthy moving body. I love your beating heart, your soul and your spirit. I love your fingers and toes and your working mind, and that you've been blessed with a baby growing inside.

I love that you've done hard things and the satisfaction that brings.

I love that you chose to marry a man who makes you laugh every single day and knows you almost better than you know yourself. I don't love that sometimes when your frustrated, you take it out on him. Why don't you take it out on the store clerk, or your pillow? Why on earth would you take it out on the sweetest man who works so hard for you? You're working on it. Thank you for that.

I love that your laid back. I hate that you're disorganized.

I love that your eyes are blue. I don't like that they're too close together, and that a boy you really liked once told you that. Oh well.

You could be better at saving money. You could be worse.

You have a strong and deep testimony of a Heavenly Father who knows and loves you. I love that. You should more diligently study the Book of Mormon. You're working on that too.

I hate that almost every day you over eat. To the point of kind of feeling sick. Why do you do that? boredom I think. And food is just so good.

I love that your a mom to the nuttiest boy around and that overall you're pretty good at the mommy thing. But you aren't quite sure how to handle the toddler tantrums.

I like that you fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow.

I've grown to accept your curly hair, and your lack of mathematical ability.

I like your style.

I don't like that you expect too much out of people. You have got to stop doing that. Appreciate who they are and what they do.

I love you.

And I promise I'll love you even more in a few months.

cooped

What do you do when it's cold outside?

I, get a little grumpy and go a little stir crazy.

Owen, does a whole lot of this.

I'm Flattered.

Lately, on a multi-daily basis Owen has been paying me what he views as the highest compliment one could receive. He says "mom pretty, mom huuuge, mom so heeeavvvvy!" to which I reply "thanks Owen, you're handsome, and huge and heavy". Which never fails to bring a giant and satisfied grin to his face.

New at our house

Owen has a big bed. We brought it home thinking we would give him plenty of time to warm up to it, before he got booted out of the nursery. Well he was asking to sleep in it the first night it was set up. Other than 15 minutes of Treav laying by him, O's transition has been as smooth as his own bottom. More and more I am discovering that this kid is so adaptable! strange having been birthed by yours truly right?! Change brings me so much anxiety. Not Owie boy. He is fine, content and even excited by it. One more thing to prove he is Treavor's son, and one more thing Owen can teach me. There is something I really love about this big change, when I check on him at night, he looks teeny all curled up at the top of the bed. He's still a baby right?

What was he for Halloween? You guessed it. He had a blast.

I read The secret life of bees. Loved every second! Couldn't put it down! I would recommend it to anyone...well any female. Is that sexist? I just can't picture my husband drinking it up like I did.

I enjoyed watching my healthy active baby in an ultrasound a week ago. We decided not to find out what we're having. At one point the baby was rubbing his or her knees, and it was so fun to watch...it always makes it seem so real to see them just living their own little life right inside of you.