Life

These blurry, in-motion pictures, may seem funny to love. but I love them so much. And I love him so much. I remember walking in the green, beautiful, hot, humid florida our first morning on our trip and wanting to bottle it all up. Wanting to always hear the birds and the frogs and the fountains. Wanting to remember the smell and wanting to never forget how I felt this moment. Treavor Takes such good care of me. He talked me into going on this trip, knowing I needed some free time and time with him. He planned it all out for me to fly and meet him there. He was walking me to breakfast and helping me get situated for the day, making sure I would have fun while he was off at conferences working SO hard all the time to provide for our family. I was so sick. It was on the flight there that I first knew for sure that I was pregnant. A fifth beautiful pregnancy with a fifth beautiful life inside of me. Two weeks ago at my 14th week check up I learned it was another miscarriage.

I have felt frustrated and angry and sad and discouraged, but looking back on this happy and nauseous time on this trip, makes me have even more feelings for this life and this man than I even did before. What a joy and a privilege and a blessing it is to experience all of life with Treavor. He is gentle and sweet and optimistic and helps my heart heal in the hardest of times. I hope to never forget how happy I was on this lush, muggy walk with the man I love so much.

FLORIDA

Treavor had a business trip to Florida at the very moment when I needed a break the very most. Of course Gram came to the rescue and made it possible for us to spend a few days away. It was a quick trip but just enough time to squeeze in the pool, the sunshine, a manicure, disney world a little relaxation and get back refreshed and ready to be a good mom again. Funny how a little time away can do that. 

Treavor excitedly anticipating his favorite ride, space mountain. I love watching him have fun. 

I may have sworn at one point in my life to never own Disney paraphernalia. I was desperate. It was cold and rainy and I didn't bring  a jacket. Treavor got a good laugh at watching my stubborn self fork over the dough for a Mickey mouse sweatshirt.  

morning on the farm

We went to the happiest little farm with the cutest little animals and couldn't stop taking pictures. We were all in heaven and left with very well documented memories of the cutest, fuzziest little   creatures. 

Wrapping up school

Our school year was a good one. What a blessing positive, devoted, sweet teachers are.  Both boys learned and grew and worked so hard. Lewis finished up at discovery with an excitement for reading and socializing and is looking forward to Kindergarten. Owen had a big year in first grade! being gone all day was a big deal all year long. He was a trooper! A good friend and very devoted to following the rules. I love watching these little brains develop, explore and work so hard, but we were all ready for a nice, relaxing Summer vacation.

Mrs. Sandy said "Lewis is just such a sweet boy" and even got a little emotional saying goodbye. 

He sang his little heart out at his performance and was supported by his loving grandparents (gram was so sick and so, so sad to miss it) .

I got to go on every field trip with the first graders. Maybe by the time the fall comes, i'll find a big fat chill pill to swallow and be able to send my little boys on a strange, stinky school bus with 25 unpredictable rug rats, chaperoned by who knows who. I'm working on it. 

we had a lovely day a red butte gardens

Owen was having trouble with the boy he was sitting by and he nicely and privately asked to be moved to an empty seat at another table. 

He made sure to thank his teacher at the bottom of his spelling test. 

I thought this was so good for his communicating skills. Treavor thought it was bad for his rolling with the punches and dealing with different personalities skills. He makes a good point! Does parenting ever have one right and clear answer?! 

field day was a hit. 

The last day was the biggest hit of all !! 

I can not say the smallest part.

When I look at these 3 angel faces.

I think of Ammon's words in the book of Alma. 

"Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel."

Spring Time

The season that is so good for my soul. 

Chasing the sunshine.

We spent a quick, fun, warm weekend in St. George with Grandpa Dennis and Grandma Kat and the Van Leeuwen cousins.  The only pictures I got were on a beautiful day at Sand Hollow - kid heaven.