Time

I have tucked my busy little bundles in, and it's that time of night when my dramatic, reflective side hits. Time flies! I hear that phrase a lot, I use it a lot, so much that it stops meaning as much. But tonight, it meant a lot. as I kissed my boys sweet cheeks. I couldn't really bare the thought of how fast four years of motherhood has gone. And by fast, I don't mean fast, but I don't know how else to describe it. 4 years has felt like 4 years. and when I say "I can't believe Owen is 4 and lewis is 20 months" well I can believe it, It makes sense. What I really mean is, how am I supposed to cope with the fact that they grow and change in such a constant way?! How am I supposed to be ok that Owen's wrist rolls are gone and Lewie is not much of a baby anymore? How am I supposed to be ok with the fact that Owen's thick curls and munchkin voice were only here for a fleeting moment. How do i deal with the fact that I will never see Lewie's pudgy diaper bum crawl across the floor again? Motherhood is such an indescribable whirlwind. It is such a mix of vivid memories and time making things a blur. A mix of missing old times and loving the present. A mix of happy and sad, and needing the past and wanting the future. You know in Malachi where we are told that such blessings will be poured out that we will not have room enough to receive it? Thats exactly what it is. My heart literally does not have room to receive these two miraculous blessings. I am so blessed with the past and the present that I don't know how to handle it. 

Some pictures from the fall, that make me so happy:

 When we lived with the Peters, helping Treav drive home from church was a favorite!

Thanksgiving

 We had Thanksgiving a few days early with the Peters family. The day began with a 5K around their neighborhood and was followed by an incredible meal. Lewie felt so old running as fast as his little legs could carry him. It was the perfect way to celebrate the holiday, I loved being out on a crisp fall morning with time to use my healthy body to run and think about all that I have to be grateful for...many of my greatest blessings were running right beside me.

Thanksgiving day was spent at the Bell home with another incredible meal! it felt small this year, we missed our brothers and their families badly! 

This year more than ever, I was overwhelmed with thanks. I have so very much. with each year my blessings grow and sometimes I  am and in awe at how happy my life is and how fortunate I am.

Dreaming of blue skies.

I have a lot to get organized, here in our new house, and photos is one of them. One of our computers broke a few months ago (the one I used for photos and blogging) and it just kind of threw a wrench in the whole system. So here I am on this snowy, stormy winter night looking through these images of our very happy Summer, that I just couldn't let go undocumented. 

A day at the park, just me and the fellas. 

That green grass and sunshine are looking pretty amazing right now!

Reunited

I have come to a conclusion; I will always be indebted to both my parents and Treavor's. Recently more than ever, I have been so grateful and humbled at the endless sacrifice they are willing to make for us and our children. The Peters inviting us into their home, and welcoming us with open arms, is such a huge act of love.  For the first couple months in their home, Marley lived in their back yard. Soon after we moved in, construction on a pool began and soon the yard was transformed into a beautifully landscaped sanctuary that Marley was no longer compatible with. After Treavor and I weighed some options, and thought of long term boarding for Marley, or animal lover friends who might be willing to watch him, it came down to the fact that the only realistic option was to give him away. Get rid of our dog!! it broke my heart. Well guess who didn't want my heart to be broken? My dad! Justin Bell, the biggest anti-dog person I think I've ever met. My parents offered to take care of Marley, and just the idea of the gesture has brought me to tears more than once. He was so loved, taken care of and, really treated more like a person by Gram and all the girls. 

You can imagine that one of the joys of moving into our new home, was being reunited with Marley. It is so great to have him around again. The boys are in love with him, and he puts up with so much. He spends most of the day with one or both boys on top of him, poking his eyes, or pulling his ears, tail or mouth. We are so happy to have our pooch back and today happened to be his 6th birthday! We celebrated with balloons and singing. 

At the party store, Owen told the young, cute cashier that "we're buying balloons for Marleys birthday" she responded by asking how old Marley was turning. Owen said "six" and then she said "that is so fun" after we sat their silently for  minute while she rung us up he said proudly "hes' our dog". The cashier and I looked at each other and started laughing really hard.  I don't think that's normal, but it gave us something to do today.

Lewis spilled his protein drink. Marley's head was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

 playing peek-a-boo

 Taking our dirty dog to get a bath.

I guess I should stop claiming to not be a "dog person" considering, I just wrote a whole post on my crazy dog that I love so much.

We bought a house

We bought a house.
We moved in about a month ago, and have had a lack of internet, time and sanity in explanation for the absence. I missed writing my feelings away, but part of me is grateful that i haven't had the blog at my fingertips to express my every thought, because too many of them may have been negative. We are however past the hardest part and life is so very good right now. Beyond good.

Our orignal plan after selling the town home in Lehi and moving into the Peters' home was to search for a fixer upper, fix it up, sell it and do that a few times to earn some school money. Well we found a fabulous fixer upper. The hard part is, we (mostly I) are in love with this house and don't want to leave as quickly as planned. I tend to get attached to things, and this attachment happend quickly.

The house is just east of sugarhouse in the canyon rim area. It was built in 1948 and we bought it from a women who is 91 years old and lived in it since it was built! Some things that I love about it:

that it only had one owner who took such great care of it
the layout (three bedrooms upstairs, we all sleep close together)
squeaky hardwood floors
red brick
garage (i've never had a garage!)
Location!! It feels so great to be in salt lake. We are close to everything we need
The ward. Friendly, down to earth, variety of people, ages, personalities
fireplace
it feels like home.

The women we bought the house from is named norma. We met her twice while looking through the home, and we talked to Owen a few times about how "norma wanted to sell her house, and she'd like us to buy it from her" Owen still talks about the house like it's norma's. I love it because I think she was sad to leave. she said to us frequently that she was just so happy that a good family was going to take good care of her house. I think as long as we're living here, a part of norma will too.

A few things Owen has said the last month while living in our new home:
"can we play in norma's basement?"
"does norma have Christmas lights up?"
"what color are norma's Christmas lights?"
"does norma have tunafish?"
"let's go home to norma's"
"when will we paint norma's walls?"

The last little while we have been trying to make this house our home, by pulling carpet out, painting walls, scrubbing everything, pulling paneling down, framing a basement, patching holes, replacing hardware... we still have a long way to go, but it feels so good to see the progress that's been made, and watch it all unfold. I will forever, ever be grateful for Dennis who found this house for us, and has helped us so much with the remodel. It is his passion and we benefit greatly from his talent and love for fixing, repairing, building, replacing, refurbishing, remodling and everything else an old home might need.

Stay tuned for updates on the rest of our life from the last little while.

brownie eyes

A neighbor and friend here at the Peters home told me a while ago that when she looks at my boys' eyes, she has a craving for brownies. Today was a rough day. Sometimes I wonder how such little bodies have such big, strong opinions.  Today, 7:00 couldn't come soon enough. Now that they are sleeping soundly and I am looking at this picture of them in their "secret hide-out" from a couple months ago, I am so grateful for their big, brown, brownie eyes. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. It always is. 

It was a big one

I haven't gotten around to documenting our Halloween, because I just could't find the energy. We had a whole month of it, and as fun as it was, I really needed a break. It started on October 1st when I turned the calendar to the new month and Owen asked when Halloween was. I pointed to the 31st and told him it was so very far away, and then we talked about it every day until the month ended. He talked about it in school every day. He learned songs and created art and heard stories all revolving around the holiday. It never was my favorite holiday to begin with, and lets just say I couldn't be happier that we have a whole year til we have to do it again. 

We had a Peters costume party early because Telisa was in town with her boys, and it was so fun to have them there! This party is always great. The Peters love Halloween, and are really the only group of people who have brought me close to enjoying the October festivities myself. 

Owen knew weeks before the party that he would wear his Captain America suit. Treavor, Lewis and I threw together our costumes hours before, inspired by owen's costume, we went with the superhero motif,

Treavor printed out Lewie's batman sign and pinned it to his black shirt, and he was thrilled. When we got to the party he repeatedly pointed to his shirt proudly grunting, showing everyone that he was batman. 

All the avengers were there, and Owen couldn't have been happier!!! It was unplanned that all these superhero fanatics would assemble as the amazing team of avengers, and worked out perfectly. they had a blast chasing uncle Adam and saving the day.

The Peters party, as always was a success.

The next big event to anticipate was the school program. Meanwhile, we painted, pumpkins, carved pumpkins, crunched leaves, discussed all things "scary", "spooky" and "just pretend". We talked about the fact that it might be tricky for Owen to sing and perform with his Captain America mask on and that maybe he should choose another costume. 

He came to the very calculated decision to be superman with black hair.

This was a great day. Gram came to watch him perform, He sang big and loud, and I hope to always remember the twinkle in his eye when I was spraying that sticky black paint in his hair. He said over and over "don't I look juuuust like Clark kent?!"

We talked more about Halloween around the house, ate Halloween cookies at grams, talked to Grandma Kat about her Halloween decorations, made ghost suckers for his school party,

pointed out every store that was "ready for halloween" with halloween decore, discussed what Owen wanted to be next year, and the year after that and the year after that, and then it was time for the ward party. The kids were asked not to wear masks, so Owen happily opted to be "the best superman ever" again. (this costume was Treavor's by the way when he was the exact same age) Lewis was the yummiest lion you've ever seen. 

We played games, talked about costumes, ate treats, won prizes and tucked two tuckered out boys into bed. 

As the actual holiday approached, Owen told me about 16 times that it's his favorite holiday, we picked out trick or treat buckets, got a halloween package in the mail from gram, made paper plate spiders, planned what Lewie should be next year, counted the days off on the calendar, talked about where we would trick or treat, answered questions like "do you think everyone will think I'm the best cap?" and then it came. The big day actually came.

It started with lots of stimulation and buckets full of candy at Treavor's work. Trick or treating through the cubicles was a thrill to both boys. When the evening arrived we were exhausted. Treavor had to go to class, and I took the boys to 4 neighbors by our (the peters) home. then we headed to the bells. We visited about five more neighbors and enjoyed a few cozy hours in their house.

 Mally was Ernie for her party, which of course was a huge hit with Owen and Lewis.

The next morning. We rolled out of bed with groggy sugar hangovers. Just as I was feeling relief that the endless holiday did in fact come to an end. Owen declared that he can't wait til next halloween. I can.

Oh ya, Owen also celebrated by eating a skeleton cookie the size of his head of course.